That dreaded time has come and while you wish you had everything under control, chances are your friends, parents and their friends will get you into nail biting tension.
A staple phase every student goes through while waiting for the exam results. During this time, you can pretty much see some very peculiar traits in people that are quickly recognizable.
Have you met any of these people?
1. The nervous wreck
They’ll be pacing a hole into the ground while wringing their hands in despair. You see, they’ve already calculated their probability of doom and visions of “worst case scenarios” are on loop in their minds. Nothing you do or say will calm them down and if you did manage to wrestle them down into a chair, chances are they will implode. Avoid words like “It’s okay, you’ll do great” or “Aiya for sure you get straight A’s la!” at all costs.
2. The optimist
They’re totally at one with their fate and will accept anything that comes their way with a smile. You’d think they have spent the last few months meditating on a mountain in Tibet with monks. They’re just “the cup is half full” kinda people and not necessarily reincarnations of Einstein. These optimists will enter school with a calm demeanor- receiving and opening their SPM results slip like one would open a party invitation.
3. The hurlers
Sweaty palms, hyperactive butterflies and a bit green in the face – the Hurlers will call the toilet cubicle their temporary home on this day. Nothing will stay down and its best not to offer them any food or drink unless you want to see it make a slightly less appealing reappearance … It’s best to give these guys a wide berth or a slight pat on the shoulder at most.
4. The “idc” guy
To these guys, it’s just like any other day except for the fact that they have to collect an annoying slip of paper and wade through a sea of emotional ex-school mates in order to do so. The “idc” (I dont care) guys have most probably started college. To them, their results have no direct effect on their present life as they know it. All they want to do is keep moving forward and never look back!
5. The reality reject
These guys are a raging storm underneath a cool exterior and they’re depending on friends to prop them and derail their mind from the daunting moment of truth ahead. With light banter and laughter, they try to rope in as many people as possible to create an aura of nonchalance- kinda like a safety blanket of sorts. In reality they’re just trying to build rainbows out of black paint and bring dead butterflies to life.
6. The “you okay? / it’s okay” person everyone wants to punch
Usually you’d find these “socially savvy” characters approaching a weeping someone with these two magical words: “You okay?”As if the tears and ugly crying face weren’t enough of a sign… In extreme cases, all form of tact gets thrown out of the window when they awkwardly pat you on the back and tell you “it’s okay” or even worse “cheer up”, thus earning them multiple mental slaps and face palms from those around them.
7. The vocally expressive
Even before opening the dreaded slip of paper, you’ll hear them babbling “oh god oh god oh god” and “poop poop poop” (the word “poop” is used for censorship purposes but you get the idea) rather loudly. The opening of the SPM results slip is almost always accompanied with a shriek and emotional tears (regardless of the results) so we advise you to not stand too closely.
8. The triumphant
They’re the winners, the heavyweight academic champions, the Leonardo Dicaprio of the Oscars, the ones with the biggest grins. Every school will have at least one and around them are gushing teachers and proud parents – all frenzied over the marvelous results. Fellow ex-schoolmates gaze enviously at their SPM slip while those sitting for SPM this year bombard The Champion with questions like “Wow! How did you do get an A+ for add math?”
9. The not-so-triumphant
They’re an elusive bunch and will not stick around long in order to avoid questions like “How did you do?” from friends and teachers. Keeping a low profile, they’ll slip through the crowd and exit before you know it. Even if they stick around, their results will not be shared willingly so it’s best to get the hint and politely stop asking about it.